Friday, April 18, 2014

Picture Prompts: Flash Friday 4-18-2014

Flash Friday is no more, but my picture prompts were taken from

Gare du Nord, Paris. CC Photo by Elliot Gilfix.

Loraine tugged at her green hoodie. The station was crowded; people bumped and jostled her as she picked through the crowd. She had taken the norm tincture, effectively hiding her webbed fingers and scaly skin, but the hair—it could not hide her sentient hair.

She cursed silently as her hood was knocked back. She yanked it up, drawing it tighter about her face as she scanned the crowd. She had seen the amulet earlier—the one worn by the Morlings. She could not be captured.

She knew there was a Morling in the station with her. She had seen the amulet; she could smell the electrical charge of his breath.

Leaving the crowded station for the empty platform, she hurried to board. “Soon,” she thought, “only a few hours and I’ll be safely home.”

“I know who you are.” The electrical hiss in her ear rendered Loraine unconscious. She had let him get too close; now she was helpless.


So...Whadya think? Let me know in the comments!

Wow! I won an honorable mention for this piece. Quote from the judge:

Charity Paschall, Untitled. I love flash fiction that hints at a much larger story, just as this one does. What are Morlings? Why does the Morling’s voice render Loraine unconscious? Don’t even get me started on her sentient hair! If this was an excerpt on the back cover of a book, I’d open it up to page one.

Here's the link to see the others that won.


  1. This is good. It builds more suspense to the pieces you have already written. I am anxious to see how you tie it all together.

    1. Thanks! I am anxious about how I will tie it all together also. :) But for now I am enjoying the writing of the individual scenes as I gain inspiration. Thanks for reading.

  2. Well written, Charity. I enjoy how the first two sentences pull us into a seemingly normal scene, and then surprise—it's anything but normal. My only suggestion would be not to repeat, especially since you're so limited on word count in flash fiction. In both the second and third paragraphs, you say, "She had seen the amulet." The idea of the Morlings being in the station is also repeated. Use your limited words to move us forward into new territory. Congratulations on your honorable mention!

    1. Tracy, thank you for your suggestion. I don't normally write flash and plan to eventually put this piece into a larger book. I think maybe I underestimated my readers a bit by putting those things in there twice. I will watch for that trap in the future. I'm glad you enjoyed it!